Monthly Archives: January 2016

11 Tips For Nightclub Pickups

Most guys think that nightclubs are a great place for action, yet they don’t seem to have much luck. Even though bars and nightclubs are ground zero for pick-up artists, being successful at it is not always as easy as it seems.
So, rather than have you waste your time figuring out the situation’s basic principles yourself, I, as always, am happy to pass along the wisdom of my many nights working the scene for digits or takeout.

1- Pick the best real estate in the nightclub

Remember the three fundamentals of business: location, location, location? How many times have you seen hot women in a bar from afar, but were stuck at a table with your friends? You want to be mobile and ready to nonchalantly get near a woman who interests you. You want a spot with good visibility and high traffic, so as to be able to interact with more people than if you’re holed up in a booth in the corner. In the pickup game, it’s also good to have an excuse for being where you are — in line for drinks at the bar, or for the restroom — so as not to look like a stalker. Consider yourself in the picking up business, and adjust your location to take advantage of traffic patterns and sight lines accordingly.

2- Befriend the bartender/barmaid

Buy him or her a shot at the beginning of the night to get on his or her good side. This will help you get faster service when you want to buy a woman a drink, or just want to order for her to be chivalrous. Being connected, especially at a hot club, also makes you look like a big shot, which can only help your chances. And who knows, you may just wind up picking up the barmaid.

3- Forget the canned icebreakers

Pickup lines are lame. Women consistently rank honesty and a sense of humor very highly as desirable qualities in a man. A pickup line seems too premeditated, which makes it seem dishonest, and to women, dishonesty is threatening, not funny.
The only thing you can do to break the ice is react to or comment on the current situation, preferably in a humorous way. Humor is your fastest route in. Being in line, as explained above, is one obvious context to comment upon to someone near you — “I think I might have to cancel my retirement if this line doesn’t move along” kind of thing.

Otherwise, ask her to resolve a question you and your friend were wondering — or decided to wonder for icebreaking purposes. For example, you could ask if, in her opinion, the person across the room is committing a fashion crime with his/her getup, which naturally leads to an opening compliment on your target’s fashion sense, ostensibly the reason you want to know her opinion. There are millions of possibilities when you’ve got spontaneity, confidence and humor in your corner.

4- Don’t go at it alone

Three is a good number. More if you can. Use a wingman, and a Kamikaze Pilot to put out fires, if you can. You can also use a wingwoman, which can really help, given that having attractive female friends makes you look appealing to women in general. If your wingwoman is drop-dead gorgeous, that could be intimidating to women, but not if you explain that she’s a friend. The fact that you’ve got such a hot friend you can restrain yourself around (say something like, “I just know we work better as friends. I don’t need to go there with her.”) reflects well on you.

5- Meet all her friends

If she’s with a group of friends, don’t simply pick her up and ignore her friends. Introduce yourself to the group. As you will likely not talk to many of them very long, first impressions really count here. Make a joke about whether there will be a name test later on, or in a noisy club, if a woman introduces herself as Sandra, lean in and say, “Sorry, Bernice, was it?” This joke underscores the idea that it’s too loud to actually talk to anyone who isn’t beside you. You’ve thereby charmed your target’s friends while also earning the right to talk only to her.
If you’re with your buddies, introduce them to the women also. Let both groups mingle, rather than simply picking up one of the girls.

6- Ask her to buy you a drink

Be original and ask her to offer you a drink, for a change. This demonstrates confidence and creativity. Being a little cocky and unconventional — while still suave, interesting and interested, of course — works. Otherwise, you could be just any generic guy with this year’s “in” shirt and hairstyle, trying to pick her up.

7- Dance your way in

If she’s on the dance floor, put yourself in her line of sight. Get in her vicinity, then into her dancing area naturally. At first, be sure to respect her personal space. Once you’ve gotten and held her eye contact for a bit, extend a hand to her as an offer to dance with you.
Eventually you can take up regular arm-in-arm dancing positions, but make the dancing itself the pickup move. Don’t use the closeness as an excuse to grope or start a full-on conversation. Hold your cards closer to your chest and save the intimate touching for later, once you’ve closed the deal. Then it’s not groping; it’s foreplay.

8- Don’t pick up another man’s woman

Don’t cut another man’s grass. If a woman is there with a man, and she seems to be flirting with you, let her make the first step to you. Don’t move in while he’s gone to the bathroom, for example, as this can create very awkward situations. Do unto others, you know?
But even then, be careful. If a guy’s got a flirtatious girlfriend, let him work it out with her, not with your jaw, which will definitely set back both your ability and desire to pick up. There are plenty of fish in the sea, especially since, as a player, you’re not looking for “the one.”

9- Deal with a c*ck block

If another man moves into your territory and puts a move on the woman you’re working on, react swiftly. Don’t give him any importance and go about your business. Let your friends help you block him from the group.
Alternately, if you can clearly tell she finds him annoying, look in her eyes and tell her you’ll be right back. This shows you’re confident in the impression you’ve made on her and gives her the time to be fully annoyed by the other guy while also eagerly anticipating your return. That anticipation is building you up as much as hanging out with her ever could. Plus, you get the chance to save her from an uncomfortable situation.

10- Deal with bad company

This could be one of many women: an ex-girlfriend, the unattractive girl who’s infatuated with you, the overly chatty friend of a friend, etc. If she’s cramping your style while you’re trying to work the crowd, deal with it pronto.
How?

You could feign interest in your conversation with her, call someone else into it for their opinion, then excuse yourself. This is clear enough without being straight-out rude. You could also use this boring time with her to figure out your icebreaker with someone you’ve spotted across the room, then tell her you just saw someone you’ve been meaning to talk to. At that point, you’re ready to go straight up to the other woman and give it a go, which means you haven’t even lied to Annoying Girl.

The possibilities are endless, but the point is, don’t be too nice and waste your time talking to a no-go — and be seen talking to her by other women you might want to work, who will then think you a) are interested in the dud, and therefore b) have bad taste.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF A NIGHTCLUB

Nightclubs are a pervasive part of our culture, and no matter where you go around the world, each country has adopted the nightclub as the benchmark of their nightlife. They are an excellent social venue and attractive to both genders, as they offer the promise of a wonderful experience on every visit. For women, nightclubs are a great place to dance with your friends and meet guys. The prospect of meeting attractive women is primarily what drives men to nightclubs, and the atmosphere and experience cultivated by a nightclub is designed with these factors in mind.

1) Nightclubs are dark.

I don’t know many adults that are afraid of the dark, but this mostly applies to when they’re in their own home. When you put a person into a room packed full of strangers and then turn off most of the lights, you’re going to increase the anxiety and fear of everyone in that room.

2) They’re crowded.

Most nightclubs pack in people as much as fire regulations allow, and the dance floor of a nightclub is prime sexual marketplace real estate, so this is where most of the patrons will be. When you’re in the dark and in a crowded place, your sense of personal comfort decreases and your anxiety increases.

3) They’re loud.

The third way that nightclubs impact your comfort level. A loud atmosphere where you can’t hear anything but the music and a few random snippets of shouted conversation decreases your personal comfort level and increases your anxiety. The human ear was not designed to live in an environment as loud as a nightclub, so even though you might only be in a club for a few hours, this exposure is enough to put you on edge. A loud environment hampers our ability to communicate, which can frustrate us and cause further discomfort.

So, knowing that darkness, close quarters, and excessive noise contribute to fear for visitors at a nightclub, the question now becomes: why do you manufacture fear?

Alcohol.

Nightclubs create the problem and then sell you the solution.

Girls go to nightclubs to dance and possibly meet guys. Guys go to nightclubs to meet girls and possibly dance. Since the onus is on guys to approach and meet girls, the pressure on them is much greater. Since alcohol reduces inhibitions, it is the natural choice to boost a guy’s courage towards interactions with the fairer sex.

In a situation where the three major anxiety and fear inducing factors are taken away, say at an outdoor barbecue, a guy may still need a few drinks to muster up the courage to speak to a hot girl. Factor in an environment of increased anxiety and discomfort, and you amplify the need for alcohol, which is why binge drinking has become so commonplace at nightclubs now. I won’t even begin to touch on the influx of MDMA, and now cocaine, in recent years, but essentially, music alone doesn’t produce enough of an emotional high, so many people are now pushing it to the extreme with these drugs.

In addition to providing alcohol, nightclubs first lure in male clientele with the premise of meeting beautiful women there. Promotional photos seen on the nightclub’s website or Facebook page are all filtered: the bulk of them are of attractive girls at the club, with a few pictures of groups of guys having fun or guys posing with the girls there.

Higher profile nightclubs even hire attractive girls to simply go to the nightclubs to increase the quality of women there; these women are essentially plants in the crowd working to get guys there to purchase more drinks and drive drink sales by flirting with them. And it works wonders: no motivating factor sells more than sex does, but fear is a close second. Combine the two, and you have a potent combination, so it’s no wonder why the nightclub business is booming.

The reason why nightclubs are so successful is because of an economics principle I spoke of in an earlier article. The Pareto Principle (more commonly known as the 80/20 rule) is a tool that can be applied to a variety of large sample sizes. Essentially it boils down to this: 20% of x is responsible for 80% of y. For example, many businesses find that 20% of their customers are responsible for 80% of their business. Why do you think virtually every major retail or fast food company tries to push a loyalty program? They want to add you to their 20% of regular customers so that they maximize the amount of business they receive from you. This same principle can be applied to a nightclub, and more specifically, hookup culture.

Think of your group of friends extended. Let’s say you’re moderately popular at school and have about 50 people you consider friends, or at least drinking buddies. How many of them routinely hook up with girls? How many occasionally do? How many almost never do? If you happen to roll with a group of guys who are all tall, handsome, and confident, your results may be skewed. Now if you were to increase your sample size to a more statistically relevant level, say, your entire campus, you would actually find that 20% of the guys are responsible for 80% of the hookups. This means that the remaining 80% of guys on campus are left to scrap over 20% of the total hookups that will occur.

Quite a shocking revelation, but when you apply the math and put on your nightclub owner’s hat, it makes perfect sense. Eighty percent of your male clientele are likely lacking with their current sex lives, so 80% of the guys walking the streets at night are actively buying what you’re selling: a chance to hook up with an attractive girl. And due to the Pareto Principle, no amount of alcohol, cologne, or cheesy pick up lines is going to radically shift that, so the majority of the guys walking through your doors will also leave empty handed that night. Many will be bitter because of that, but sex is a powerful motivator, and most guys will be back next week to try again.

8 Good Reasons To Avoid Nightclubs Entirely

download (2)1. Ridiculous fashion double standards. I showed up to the entrance with my friend and the promoter who we were guests of immediately said they would not let me into the club wearing Converse. When I pointed out that ALL of the guys were wearing sneakers and tee-shirts, he responded “but you are a girl — they won’t let you in with those.” I looked around and noticed the girls were all indeed wearing heels and very mini dresses. At that point, I put on some shoes I brought along in my bag just in case … and I put my damn converse back on when I got inside.

2. The music can make you narcoleptic. Upon entry to the club, the DJ played a mix of 80’s music and Bob Marley — and I nodded off twice. Eventually, things really started to heat up when the DJ dropped the “It’s Getting Hot In Here” Nelly track and everyone started to sing along. You know people were desperate at this point.

3. Sitting in a booth is a trap! Remember that promoter idiot from earlier in the night? Well, as his guest, I was welcomed to sit and “pop bottles” with “his crew” at a table (called a booth). Little did I know, there is no escaping the booth. No one actually gets up to leave the booth at any point to do anything.

4. You can send your account into overdraft buying one round of drinks. In the event that you do not know a promoter who can set you up with free drinks in a booth trap, a single drink costs between $12 to $15 on any given night. If you are broke like me, one round of drinks could easily result in a $35 dollar overdraft fee. (Another reason to be confined to a booth).

5. The Clubman. In the days of the caveman, popular culture tells us that when a man wanted to mate with a woman he would scream, “OOOOGA OOOOOGA” unintelligibly, hit her over the head with a wooden club, then drag her back to his cave. Well, men have evolved! Today, though the clubman still screams or mumbles poorly formed phrases like “my place later?” And instead of hitting clubwoman in the head, he offers her numerous drinks until she is close enough to unconscious, then attempts to get her back to his clubman cave. I understand this is a slight evolution, but I’ll pass.

6. Club pimping is real and depressing. Beside me in an adjoining booth of boredom sat a group of men (supposedly basketball players). They were similarly idle until, for their entertainment, young girls wearing lingerie were ushered over to sit on their laps by club management! And I mean literally sit, because, remember, dancing is illegal.

7. Trash-y women. When I finally left the club, there was a woman literally laid out in a pile of trash out front with her legs spread wide open while wearing one of those mini-dresses. She was obviously completely wasted. Her girl friends struggled to help her to her feet, each giggling as they individually took a tumble into the trash themselves, because they could not support her dead weight. Everyone could see during this spectacle that least two of these women were not wearing panties.

8. No amount of alcohol could make the night fun. If even booze can’t help a situation, there is no hope.

Depression and Working the Night Shift

Night shifts are not just a development of modern life. For centuries, sailors, soldiers, bakers and innkeepers have had to be awake and working while others slept, but it was the Industrial Revolution and the grueling restructuring of the workday accompanying it that heralded a much wider adoption of night-shift work. In hospitals, public services, service industries and retail industries, shift work is not uncommon. Most employees who work the night shift choose to do so, but they may not realize what the toll of working while the world sleeps can take on their mental health.

Risks Associated with Night Work
Shift work has long been understood to increase risk factors for a list of health complications. According to an article in the journal, “Occupational and Environmental Medicine,” cardiovascular disease, fatigue, insomnia, obesity, stress and anxiety have all been linked to higher rates among shift workers, as has depression. It is not for certain yet if it is the night-shift hours themselves that cause depression or, because shift workers are mostly self-selected, if shift workers are simply more inclined to neurological problems. However, night-shift work may be linked with depression because of the disruption of certain biological processes, such as the circadian rhythms.

About Circadian Rhythms
All human vital signs, including our sleeping and waking cycles, are regulated by circadian rhythms. These are regular periods of change that fluctuate through the day and are important for correct bodily functioning; these rhythms are controlled by an internal clock and influenced by external cues to start or cease different functions. The most powerful of these external cues are light and darkness. Humans are evolutionarily designed to wake at sunrise and sleep at sunset, and prolonged exposure to bright lights at night and darkness in the day can throw off these rhythms.

Mental Effects of Light and Darkness
A long-acknowledged form of depression is related to a lack of light stimulus during the day. Seasonal affective disorder, common in regions with extremely short days in the winter, is directly linked to circadian rhythms being interrupted by too-short light periods; treatment using bright light therapy is effective in resolving the disorder. A study conducted by researchers at John Hopkins University testing the effects of disruptive light/dark cycles on mice revealed that the mice responded with depression-like symptoms when exposed to light or darkness in alternating 3.5 hour cycles. This suggests that shift workers struggling to sleep in darkened rooms during the daytime and working in brightly lit environments at night are pitting their internal and external circadian rhythm factors against each other, producing a kind of depressive state similar to seasonal affective disorder.

How to Manage Night Work
Shift workers are advised to adjust their schedules and lives to work with their circadian rhythm cycles as much as possible. If light levels at work are a controllable factor, use only what is needed to see: the less light exposure, the better. If possible, work night shifts on a permanent basis rather than on-again, off-again; given a sufficient amount of time, the body’s circadian rhythms will eventually adapt to being awake at night and reduce the symptoms associated with shift work. If permanent shift work isn’t an option, consider doing shift work either in large blocks of time, such as a few months at a time, to prevent the need to constantly shift rhythms, or else work as few night shifts in a row as possible — preferably only one — to maintain a diurnal operating schedule. Regardless of shift worked, physical exercise has conclusively shown to reduce depressive symptoms; night-shift workers prone to depression would benefit from a regular exercise regimen and a healthy diet.